PMS
Physical *
Mental
* Spiritual
IN THIS NEWSLETTER
"The Sandwich Generation"
An Interview
with Lily Yu
"Depression: Facts and Myths" Summary of Talk with Mary Lum
"Understanding and Caring for Aging Parents"
Summary of Talk with
Dr. Pendleton
UPCOMING EVENTS ON SPIRITUAL HEALTH
Sunday 5/1
2-4pm
Newton Campus
"Nurturing Your Child's Spiritual Health" with Miltinnie Yih
"Nurturing Your Own Spiritual Health"
Speaker and Time TBA
OTHER MINISTRIES AVAILABLE
Stroller Brigade
Home
Improvement Ministries
Caring for One Another
During the months of January to March, we continued our PMS series by looking at "Mental Health". In February, we invited Mary Lum to speak to us on "Depression: Facts and Myths." In March, we invited Dr. Ray Pendelton of Gordon-Conwell to speak to us on "Understanding and Caring for Aging Parents."
Underlying all these talks was the message that in order to care for one another, be it a friend struggling with depression, or elderly parents or grandparents, we need to gain a fuller understanding of what they struggle with and how we can give help. The same goes for ourselves if we struggle with depression or aging; we need proper access to information. We hope this newsletter will continue to inform you on these aspects of spiritual health. Ultimately, we want to be able to care for each other in Christian community, caring for one another as Christ cares for us.
We hope you enjoy receiving
these newsletters, and we love to hear from you! Feel free to
email us any feedback and comments.
An Interview with Lily Yu
When Dr. Pendleton came to speak with us in March, I was introduced to a new term: "The Sandwich Generation". The sandwich generation refers to those sandwiched between aging parents who need care or help, and their own children. This is the "Traditional Sandwich". There is also the "Club Sandwich", those with multiple layers, sandwiched between aging parents, adult children and grandchildren, or else with young children, aging parents and grandparents. Lastly, there is the "Open Faced Sandwich", which is anyone involved in elder care. (Definitions by Carol Abaya, taken from http://www.thesandwichgeneration.com).
In addition to taking care of their own children, driving them to and from school and after-school ballgames and classes, the Sandwich Generation also has to juggle the needs of an older generation who also need driving around, but have a completely different sets of demands, such as taking their medications on time, or being driven to the store. The Sandwich Generation may also have a job. Most often, the one sandwiched in the middle is a woman: a mother, daughter, grandmother, and granddaughter, all rolled into one.
I interviewed Lily Yu, one of the founders of the Women’s Ministries at BCEC, and faithful chairperson of the ministry for over 5 years. Lily was born and bred in Boston, the middle of 5 children. She has been married to Ray, a graphic designer, for 16 years, and they have two children: Amanda (13), and Jordan (10). Trained in environmental design and landscape architecture, Lily current works as a paraprofessional/instructional aid in the Boston Public Schools. The Yu’s live in West Roxbury. I asked Lily to share her experiences as a "Club Sandwich".
Upcoming Events on Spiritual Health
Nurturing Your Child's Spiritual Health
with Miltinnie Yih
Sunday 5/1, 2-4pm,
Newton Campus (Chapel)
Miltinnie Yih, who is the mother of three very diverse adult children (one is autistic, one is gifted, and one has ADD), will share the many different ways she tried to spiritually impact her children throughout the different phases of their lives, from toddlerhood, to school age, to pre-teens, to adolescence, to college years, to young adulthood. Miltinnie has taught English in high school and college and has been head of the counseling dept. at Hong Kong International School. She is also the founder of Christian Clubs that are now in various schools in HK.
Lunch: Please feel free to join New Community for lunch before the talk. Lunches need to be ordered the week before. More details later.
Childcare: Childcare available upon request. Please sign up by April 24 if you require childcare, so we have enough helpers.
Please contact Bernice Cheung to RSVP.
Nurturing Your Own Spiritual Health
Speaker and Time TBA
In this last session to close off our year, we look at how we can run the race with endurance, and be spiritually healthy for all our lives.
Our Ministry Team this year:
Jeanie
Chou
Ruth Chu
Julie Wong
Eun Ju Kim
Bernice Cheung
(Director of English
Women's Ministries)
To find out more about our ministries, please contact us!
Summary of Talk with Mary Lum
On Saturday, 2/5, Mary Lum came to speak to us about Depression: Facts and Myths. Mary is a licensed mental health counselor at South Cove Community Health Center. She graduated from Trinity Evangelical Seminary in Chicago in 1997 with an MA in Counseling Psychology. Mary is married to Pastor Jack and is the mother of Jack Jr.
According to Mary, mental illness is often not addressed in Asian culture as it is a taboo subject; many women are not educated on what depression is and what it is not. We were therefore very grateful to have Mary come to correct our thinking and also so we can help others. The following are some FAQ's gleaned from the talk and from other resources. If you wish to seek treatment for depression, or want to talk to someone, please read the last FAQ.
Note: These FAQ's are provided for education only, and should not be used for diagnostic purposes. You should see your clinician or doctor for professional help.
Q: How common is depression?
A: Depression affects 19 million people
per year in the US, which accounts for 9.5% of the population. Women
are more likely to have depression than men.
Q: What are some common symptoms of depression?
A: Common symptoms
include sadness, withdrawal, sleeping more, loss of interest, loss of
motivation, feelings of guilt, and/or suicidal thoughts. Not everyone
who is depressed experiences every symptom. Mary pointed out that because
many Asian do not like to admit that they are depressed, their symptoms
may manifest themselves as physical symptoms such as nonspecific aches
or pains.
Q: How do I know if I am depressed or if I just
have the blues?
A: Not everyone who is sad or blue is depressed. Someone
might just be feeling blue due to financial or marital problems, or due
to bereavement; in those cases, it is normal to feel unhappy. In order
to be diagnosed as clinical depression, certain criteria needs to be fulfilled,
and usually the symptoms persist for weeks at a time. A clinician or doctor
should be consulted for this diagnosis.
Understanding
and Caring for Aging Parents
Summary of Talk with Dr. Ray Pendleton
On March 19, Dr. Pendleton of Gordon-Con well Theological Seminary
came to speak to us on the topic of “Understanding and caring for our
aging parents”. The following in a brief summary of his talk.
What the Bible teaches about growing old and
caring for the old:
Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake
me when my strength is gone. Psalm 79:9
Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life. Proverbs 16:31
Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Titus 2:2
On the contrary, those parts of the body [of Christ] that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor…Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 1Corinthians 12:22-23, 27
Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the Lord. Leviticus 19:32
If [widows] have children or grandchildren, these are the ones who should take the responsibility, for kindness should begin at home, supporting needy parents. This is something that pleases God very much ...Anyone who won't care for his own relatives when they need help, especially those living in his own family, has not right to say he is a Christian. Such a person is worse than a heathen. 1Timothy 5:4,8
Honor your father and mother, that you may have a good life. Exodus 20:12
Other Ministries Available
Stroller Brigade
A group of women have started an informal Yahoo Groups
network for moms to exchange useful information. You get to hear all
about the latest sales on diapers...and more! To join, please contact
Winnie Lee
Home Improvement Ministries
A lot of families at BCEC benefit greatly from the ministries of Paul
and Virginia Friesen and their "Home Improvement Ministries". The Friesens
were formally the family pastors at Grace Chapel. The mission of Home
Improvement Ministries (H.I.M.) is to equip, encourage, and bring hope
to churches, families, and marriages as they seek to establish and
live out biblical designs for relationships. For more information,
talk to Henrietta Mei at BCEC, or else visit the website at: http://www.homeimprovementministries.org/
We want to be a community who loves and helps each other out. We are hoping to establish a more formal network of women who can help new moms so nobody gets left out. If you'd like to join our network, or are interested in coordinating, please contact Bernice Cheung.
Visit our web site at: http://www.bcec.net/womensministries/