PMS: Mental Health, March 19, 10am, Newton Campus. By Dr. Ray Pendleton.
On March 19, Dr. Pendleton of Gordon-Con well Theological Seminary came to speak to us on the topic of “Understanding and caring for our aging parents”. The following in a brief summary of his talk.
What the Bible teaches about growing old and caring for the old:
Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone. Psalm 79:9
Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life. Proverbs 16:31
Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Titus 2:2
On the contrary, those parts of the body [of Christ] that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor…Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 1Corinthians 12:22-23, 27
Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the Lord. Leviticus 19:32
If [widows] have children or grandchildren, these are the ones who should take the responsibility, for kindness should begin at home, supporting needy parents. This is something that pleases God very much ...Anyone who wont’ care for his own relatives when they need help, especially those living in his own family, has not right to say he is a Christian. Such a person is worse than a heathen.1Timothy 5:4,8
Honor your father and mother, that you may have a good life. Exodus 20:12
They also face changes in their roles:
They change relationships:
Capacities:
In the face of these changes, the elderly feel helpless, because they can no longer help themselves. They used to be leaders, but now they feel they cannot even participate. Many times, they become frustrated.
What we need to understand
When we care for our parents who
are getting older, we must learn to care for them without taking away their
sense of self-esteem and dignity. For example, we need to be gentle and patient,
and help them find ways to cope. We should allow them to make as many decisions
as they can, without stepping in and making all the decisions for them. We
also need to help them find sensitive medical care. Of all things, contact
(staying in touch) is the most important.
As their health and capacities deteriorate, we should also watch for chronic illness, make sure they have adequate nutrition, help prevent drug misuse or mistakes, help them cope with worry, anxiety and/or depression. The elderly also sometimes experience feelings of isolation, loneliness, and feelings of abandonment. We need to be on the lookout for warning signs of suicide, for example, they might talk about how they feel worthless, start giving you their “last thoughts”, give away their belongings or start putting things in order. These are warning signs that require immediate attention.
Suggestions for ministering to the aged
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